


I want you to know that my feelings are true

by deacuryftw



Series: You're my best friend [1]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Cupboard, Farm House, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Romance, M/M, Multi, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Rough Sex, Sex, deacy is a bean, mental health, this is the cutest shit i've ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:00:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deacuryftw/pseuds/deacuryftw
Summary: This story is set in the early 70s shortly before the release of the album A Night At The Opera. Brian and Roger have been a couple for a few months and slowly they start to show their love openly in front of John and Freddie. Freddie starts to be very interested in the love between the two men and soon realizes that he might be gay as well.---After getting closer to a specific man, Freddie and him want to take things to another level but it seems as if they get always interrupted, no matter what.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I decided to rewrite my Deacury fanfic COMPLETELY because I had a feeling there was too much smut in the other one lmao. I'm sorry and also please remember this is not my first language so sorry for mistakes feel free to correct me!

„I don’t care, it’s gonna be on the B-side!” “Oh fuck off, Roger.” “Freddie, please don’t-“ “Don’t what, Brian? Don’t tell him that his song is ridiculous?” “It’s not ridiculous!” “I’m in love with my fucking car? What even is this song?” “You know what? Know one will get about what Borhap is and I think not even you know it! Especially the gallileo and bismillah part. What does that mean?” Freddie was about to knock Roger out when Brian pulled him back and John jumped in between. “Do you want to get punched, Deaky?” “Stop it now, Freddie!”, shouted Brian and pulled him out of the room. John and Roger could hear Brian and he was really angry. “You know what? Go to your fucking room until you’ve calmed down.” “You’re not my mum.” “Go!”

Brian got back into the room, his head was read because of anger. “You okay, Roggie?”, he asked slowly getting calmer. “Yeah, thanks. You didn’t have to do that. And you didn’t have to jump between us, John. What if he hit you instead of me accidently?” “Well, Brian was there and that’s something I would have cared about if it actually happened.” “Hm- however, thanks mate.” Roger laid his hand on John’s shoulder and hugged him. “We should all just calm down and later we try to talk to Freddie again.”, Brian said before he left the recording room.

Later that day Brian wanted to make dinner and called the other band members, but surprisingly only John made his way down to the kitchen. Freddie was probably still being sulk. But where was Roger? It wasn’t very typical for him to stay in his room as he was very sociable and also the band was on his side. While Brian started chopping some vegetables John went to Roger’s room. He wasn’t there. About ten minutes he wandered around the house until he heard something coming from the cupboard in the hall. “Rog?” “Yeah?” “Why are you in a cupboard?” “I won’t come out until Freddie aggrees to have my song on the B-side.” “Please tell me you are joking.” John wanted to open the door, but it was locked. “Roger…please come outside.” “Nope.” John sighed and went back to the kitchen.

“Uhm, Brian? I think we have a problem.” “What is it? Is Roggie okay?” “Yes…yes he’s fine don’t worry. It’s just…he locked himself in a cupboard and he said he won’t come out until his song is on the B-side.” Brian supported himself with his elbows on the counter and put his hand on his face. “Why?” He shook his head and then got up again. “Why do I have to be in a band with two fucking babies.” He stormed out of the kitchen and John followed him. He had never heard Brian curse so much in one day. “Is he in that one?”, Brian asked turning to John and pointing to the cupboard in the hall. John nodded. “Alright.”

Brian hammered against the cupboard and John could hear Roger squeak out of fear because he obviously didn’t see that coming. The bassist tried not to laugh because Brian was already so angry. “Come out there, Roger.” “No!” “Please, Roger. Don’t be so stupid.” “I don’t care if I’m stupid. I want my song on the B-side!” “For gods sake why??” “Because I like it so much.” “It’s a song about a fucking car it won’t hurt anyone if it isn’t on the B-side.” “Just leave me alone if you don’t like my song.” John could hear that Roger was actually hurt and he was really sorry for him. “Freddie just should have punched him.”, Brian whispered as he went back to the kitchen.

The youngest band member decided to stay with Roger. “Are you okay?” “I’m fine.” “Are you sure? I mean…I like your song. It’s really special with the car sounds and stuff.” “Really? Do you think so?” “Yes.” “Thank you, John.” “You know you have to get out of there at some point. You’ll suffocate in there. “Can you get me something to eat, please?” “Uhm…I really would love to, but Brian is in the kitchen and he’s really pissed.” “I hate when he’s pissed at me.” John often wondered if Brian and Roger were a couple bacause they spend so much time together, but he never really wanted to ask them. “I’ll grab some cookies, okay? That’s not too obvious.” “Oh yes, I love cookies. Thanks!” John grinned because it was funny how everythin about this situation made Roger seem like a little child.

“Did he decide to move his ass out of the cupboard?”, Brian asked when the bassist entered the kitchen. He was just putting the vegetables into some boiling water while John got some cookies. “No…but he’s really sad because you’re mad at him. Brian sighed. “I know and I don’t want him to be mad, but sometimes he is so childish. Sometimes it’s cute because you know…I feel like I have to protect him, but now I just want to pull him out of that damn cupboard.” “Yeah…uhm…I understand you…I guess. But he is like really proud of his song…and yeah.” Brian sighed again and John waited for an answer to come, but there was just silence so he went to the cupboard again. He was shoked about how Brian talked about Roger. Are they really a couple? But they don’t share a bedroom. John made a mental note to ask Freddie about them because somehow he thaught if someone knew if they were dating it would be him.

“Roger? I have the cookies.” The cupboard opened with a soft click. Roger had red eyes he probably cried. “Thanks, John. I really appreciate that you are the only one caring for me right now.” “Oh I am not the only one…Brian is just angry, but I think he regrets the things he said.” Roger looked down with a small sigh and took the cookies. “I don’t want you to cry alone in a cupboard.” “I wasn’t crying, I just-“ “Oh, Roggie your eyes are super red and wet.” Their eyes locked and it took Roger a moment to answer. “I just feel like I am never good enough. You three are all so good and this is seriously the first song I wrote on my own and everyone, except you, keeps saying that it’s stupid and ridiculous. And now I am sitting in this stupid cupboard and I am seriously so embarrassed. I am so so stupid, acting like a fucking child.” “Stop it.”, said John softly. “You are enough. You are actually more than just enough. Come on look at you playing the drums. Noone in the band is able to play their instrument like you.” “Brian-“ “No, Brian doesn’t count. He is good at everything. Seriously he is just in the kitchen cooking a five star dish.” Roger smiled a little and John smiled as well because he was able to stop Roger from starting to cry again. “And you don’t have to be embarrassed, okay? Just tell the others what you told me.” “Will you…come with me? I don’t want to go to Freddie alone.” “Of course I’ll come with you.” They both smiled and Roger got out of the cupboard.  
“Yeah?”, Freddie said quietly when john knocked at his door. “Hey, Freddie. You okay?” “Besides the fact that I almost hit Roger because I’m a fucking idiot – yes I’m quiet good. What is it, darling?” “Uhm…well, Roger is actually here. Can he come in? He wants to tell you something.” Freddie who was laying on his back until now sat up. “Yes, come in.” Roger slowly got into the room and looked at John who nodded to give him a signal that he should just start. “I am sorry for being stupid and locking in a cupboard, I-“ “What?” “Oh, uhm we didn’t tell him-“ “You didn’t fucking tell him?” “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t matter you wanted to tell him something, right?” “Yeah…right.” John made an facial expression at Freddie to let him know that he should shut the fuck up and not laugh.

“I wanted to tell you that I am sorry for being so…uhm…you know annoying about my songs. It’s just that I never feel important to the band because you all write a shit ton of songs and this is the first song I’ve written on my own and everyone, except for Deaky is making fun of it and-“, Roger started crying again and John immediately hugged him. “Shh it’s okay, Roggie. Freddie understands you, right?” Freddie stood up and dissolved the hug to take Roger into his arms. “Oh come hear, darling. It’s okay. I don’t want you to feel like that and I am sorry that I said those things, okay?” “But you still hate it.” Roger was sobbing know and John felt so bad but he didn’t know what to do. “I don’t hate it, darling!” Freddie hugged him tighter. “I am so sorry, please believe me that I don’t hate it. I was just being a bitch about it. Come here, Roggie.” Freddie slowly removed the tears under Roger’s eyes. “I am sorry.”, Roger said quietly. “No, darling. You are the last person that has to say sorry. You know what? We’ll put your song on the B-side. I think your song is really great. I mean if you think about it – with those car noices – it is very special so we’ll have two very extraordinary songs.” “Do you really think so?” “Yes, I do.” “Thanks.”, Roger whispered before hugging Freddie again. “Do you want to go down to Bri now? He’s probably better at comforting you than me.”, he said with a short wink at Roger. The drummer giggled and was about to leave the room. “Get us when dinner’s ready, okay?”, Freddie shouted after him. “Alright.”

“How did he go from sobbing to laughing that fast?”, John asked with a confused look. “Come on, sit with me, darling.”, Freddie offered while patting the spot on his bed right next to him. “You don’t know this because it never came up in the time you were with us, but Roger suffers from a social anxiety disorder which leads to a very low-selfesteem. Don’t get me wrong he is very sociable but in some situation he is getting scared and very impulsive as you saw. And sometimes he’s suffering from depressive episodes as well.” “Oh…I didn’t know that. So…do I have to act different-“ “No, darling. The way you acted today was perfect. It’s important to be by his side. But you should still treat him normal and stuff.” “Of course, yeah. Uhm…Freddie, I wanted to…uhm ask you if Rog and Bri are…a couple?” “What? They didn’t tell you yet? Yes they’ve been dating for a few months now.” “So why do they have separate bedrooms?” “I frankly don’t know, but they definitly both sleep in Brian’s room believe me. I heard them.” “Oh, I’m sorry for you.” They both laughed when Roger came upstairs again and told them that dinner was ready.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to mention that this is just an alternative universe...so you know Mary probably won't appear or at least not as Freddie's girlfriend! And thanks for the feedback i wasn't expecting so much! :) I really enjoy writing this one and i hope you enjoy reading it!

After dinner the four men sat on the couch around a small table talking about the last few songs they had to record. It was around 11 pm when Roger and Brian excused themselves and went to their bedrooms. John and Freddie decided to stay awake. “I bet they are having sex right now.”, the singer said after some time. “Huh?” “The bedroom they apparently share is right next to mine and since we’re in this farmhouse I can hear there moans.” John smiled at Freddie. “Hot.” “Yeah…totally. Especially if you’re trying to sleep.” The men both laughed and decided to play some scrabble.

An hour later, Freddie declared that he wasn’t tired at all. “Me neither.” “Do you want to go outside. We could get some blankets and alcohol. I bet you can see the stars very good out here, darling.” “That’s a brilliant idea.”, John said quite excited about the idea of star-gazing in the middle of nowhere without any light pollution. The bassist grabbed some blankets from the couch while Freddie got a bottle of vodka from the kitchen.

It was quite cold outside but the alcohol gave them a feeling of warmth. “Look how beautiful this is.”, said John looking up to the stars and Freddie saw how sparkly his eyes were because of that. “Brian could tell us so much about the night sky.” “Yeah, but he is busy.”, responded Freddie giggling. John laughed and laid back with two blankets wrapped around him. Freddie couldn’t help but laying next to him and unobtrusively shifting himself closer to John. He asked John what he thought about their friends having a relationship. “I think it’s cute.”, the younger man answered without looking away from the sky. “So you don’t have a problem with them being…gay?” That was the moment when John actually turned his head and looked at Freddie. Their eyes met and Freddie felt tautness in his stomach. “No…of course not. I think if two people love eachother it doesn’t matter which gender they are. Why are you asking?” “Oh…uhm…I just wanted to know.” That was enough of an answer for John and without hesitation his look was already at the stars again.

Freddie sighed and finally also looked up at the sky. It was beautiful, John was right. But somehow the singer would still rather stare at his friend than the night sky. He was questioning his sexuality since a couple of weeks, but it never was very serious. There were only thoughts like “Roger and Brian seem so lucky, I wonder what it feels like to kiss a man.” Or at night when he could hear them he often wondered how good sex between two men must feel if they were moaning like that. In the last couple of days this questioning got intenser. It probably was since they were at this farmhouse, so about a week or something. He loved waking up in the morning and going to the kitchen where John was already making coffee. And he loved seeing his sleepy eyes and him talking about how bad he had slept because it was so cold in the basement. Freddie would always offer him more blankets but they are at four blankets now and he is still cold at night so he decided to sleep in the living room. But unfortunatly Brian stands up even earlier than him to make breakfast. Brian loved cooking especially he was living on a vegetarian diet and normally he sang while cooking, making no exception for Deaky. So he just head to make it through the next couple of weeks.  
“What are you thinking about?”, John suddenly asked noticing that Freddie was distracted. “Oh nothing…” “You are not thinking about nothing, I don’t believe you.” Freddie sighed knowing that there was no way not to declare his thoughts to John. “I was just thinking about…where you are gonna sleep this night…because of the cold.” “In my bedroom probably with a fifth blanket.” “I thought maybe you could sleep in Roger’s room because Roger is in Brian’s room and I really don’t want you to freeze because we have to record an album, darling. A cold is the last thing we need now.” “You are right, why didn’t I think of that.” Most of all Freddie wished to ask John if he wanted to sleep in his bed and honestly he wanted to punch himself for that thought. John was one of his three best friends and he certainly had no feelings for him.  
The men laid in their blankets a couple of time until John started speaking softly. “Do you mind if I go inside now? I think I will pass out on the ground if I don’t go to bed now.” “Of course not, darling. I’ll go with you. I am quite cold.” John smiled and took the blankets again while Freddie brought the vodka back to the kitchen.

After brushing their theeth and changing into their pajamas they said good night and went to their rooms. Or rather John went to Roger’s room. Freddie was already laying in bed thinking about John and how close they had been this evening. Suddenly his door opened a crack. It was John. “Freddie are you sleeping?”, he whispered jokingly. “It’s been like a minute since we said good night.” “Just wanted to make sure. Uhm…Roger is in his room.” “What?” Freddie sat up and looked at John. He knew that this was his chance. “Uhm…I don’t know, but maybe you…could sleep in my bed?” What are you doing he is his best friend, he told himself b ut the temptation was too big. “But you only have a single bed.” “I mean yeah, but it’s quite big. If I shift over a little bit.” “Are you sure?” No. “Yes, it’s fine. At least you’ll be warm this night. John snickered and got onto the bed. “Thanks, Freddie.”, he said and Freddie could swear there was something erotic in his voice. “No problem.”, he managed to say.

There was not much space, but that didn’t bother Freddie and it seemed as if John was okay with that as well because soon he fell asleep. Freddie in contrast couldn’t sleep at all. He listened to John sleeping. The bassist wasn’t really snoring, but he made cute little sounds when he suddenly turned to Freddie and started snuggling up to him. Freddie stopped breathing for a moment. “John? John are you awake?”, he whispered. No reaction. He didn’t want to wake John up so he just went with it and hugged him softly. He really didn’t want to do this but Freddie just couldn’t resist the urge and gave John a kiss on the lips and it felt so good. If it wasn’t his best friend who wasn’t even concious right now Freddie would have kept kissing him but he decided it would be the best to sleep.

The next morning Freddie woke up alone. He looked around and saw that John’s blanket was still in his bed, so he assumed that John already went down to get some breakfast. Then the events of last night hit him again. He kissed his best friend on the lips and didn’t even know if he was asleep for sure. Anxiously he went down to the kitchen. What if John actually was awake? The singer was reliefed when he entered the kitchen and John was sitting there drinking coffee and eating scrambled egg. Brian was sitting next to him drinking tea and reading a book.

“Good morning!”, said John happily. Brian looked up from his book for about two seconds and muffled “Morning.” When he continued reading. He definitly wasn’t very sociable when he was reading. Roger was probably still sleeping. “Good morning.”, Freddie answered while grabbing some coffee from the coffee machine. “We were cuddling when we woke up today.”, John jiggled. “Oh…really?” “Yeah, you were right I wasn’t cold this time.” They both snickered and Freddie was more than just reliefed that John apparently didn’t know.


	3. Chapter 3

Later that day the four band members were in the recording room again, this time without fighting. It was a very productive day, they recorded Death on Two Legs and Love of My Life. Freddie couldn’t think of anyone but John while singing this song. He isn’t the love of your life, not even the love for one night, he thought to himself. The singer clearly had to find a way to distract himself so he decided to ask the others if they wanted to have a party tonight. “We are in the middle of nowhere, Freddie. There’s no way anyone wants to come here not that anyone would find this house anyway.”, Roger said. “Well, let’s have our own party, darlings!” “Sounds great.”, John said to Freddie with a big grin on his face. Why did he have to be so cute? “Okay, but let’s not totally mess this place up, okay?” “Of course not my dear.”, Freddie assured Brian.

After the recording session John asked if Freddie could stay with him for a second. Roger and Brian left the room and John looked at Freddie. “Uhm…I just wanted to ask if it would be okay if…I maybe could stay in your room for the rest of our time here?” “Of course.”, Freddie said maybe a little too happy. “We can get my mattress up so we don’t have to share your bed.” “No. I mean…uhh…if you want to yes…but uhm…I think it…uhm-“ “Oh shut up you just enjoyed cuddling with me, admit it.”, John laughed and Freddie kind of joined his laughing. “Uhm yeah…kind of.” “Oh really? That was just a joke but-“ “Yes I made a joke as well.” “Uhm okay yeah…whatever. So are we gonna take the mattress up or not?” This whole situation got really awkward and Freddie wanted to punch himself for the things he said. “If you want to. I just wanted to say that it was okay for me because it isn’t that warm upstairs as well. But if you don’t-“ “No, no, it’s okay. I liked sharing a bed with you because it was really warm.” John smiled at Freddie and it seemed as if he found the situation pretty weird as well. “Okay…uhm. Shall we go to the others?” “Yeah.” They exchanged a weird smile and went upstairs. Freddie wished this situation never happened but on the other hand John was sleeping in the same bed as him now which was good. But he also wanted to distract himself from John so maybe it wasn’t that good after all.

As the evening came the men were all gathered around the small table in the living room playing some drinking games. “Okay, so now let’s play never have I ever. The rules are that someone says something they’ve never done and everyone who has done it drinks.”, Freddie declared already being drunken. But not only he was drunken, on the table was already an empty vodka bottle. “I start!”, Roger blurted out. “Never have I ever uhm…hmmm never have I ever used a sex toy!” Brian drank. “NO WAY!”, Freddie broke out in laughter. “You? Our oh so innocent scientist?” “I never said that I was innocent.” “Darling, I want to know details.” “That’s not part of the game, darling.”, imitated. Freddie acted as if he was pouting but soon the game continued. Freddie went on. “So…never have I ever pretended to sleep in my own room while I in reality secretly went to the room of my boyfriend to fuck him.” “Oh you wanker.”, Roger hissed before taking a shot. Feddie snickered. “Oh I knew it.” Okay now me, John suddenly said which surprised the others. “Never have I ever kissed my best friend while he was asleep.”

There was silence. Roger and Brian raised their eyebrows in confusion while Freddie stared at John with eyes wide open. John smirked but his grin faided when Freddie still was sitting on the couch like frozen. He didn’t want to drink, he couldn’t admit it even though it was obvious. “Did we miss something?”, Brian laughed nervously trying to break the ice. “Excuse me.”, the singer answered and stormed out of the room. He didn’t want to be in this house anymore so he ran outside inhaling the cold night air. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”, he whispered to himself and kept running. Thirty meters from the house away he got a cigarette out of his pockets and lit it.

Why do I have to be like this he thought to himself. I just want to be straight and for fucks sake I don’t want to have feelings for my fucking best friend. And how could John even confess that Freddie kissed him in front of Bri and Roger? Freddie was shaking from the cold and because he was angry at himself and pushed his nails into his palms as hard as he could while inhaling the smoke of his cigarette with the other hand. “Freddie?” The singer turned around, it was John who followed him. Of course it was John.

“What are you doing? I- I am sorry…it was just joke.” “So it’s just a joke to you that your bloody best friend kissed you while you were asleep – or not asleep whatever.” “No…I mean I don’t know, I didn’t think it was such a big deal for you…I mean we both were a little drunk yesterday.” “Why did you have to say it in front of them?” Freddie felt he was close to tears and pushed his nails even deeper into his skin. “I am sorry, Freddie. I really didn’t think when I did it. I thought it would be fun I am so sorry, okay? I am so stupid I always ruin everything.” The first tear rolled down Freddie’s cheek. “Don’t say that. If anyone is ruining something it’s me. I kissed you.” “So you didn’t do it because you were drunk?” Freddie felt a sting in his chest and an undescribable feeling of anxiety pushing down on him. “I don’t know…I am confused I just…I shouldn’t have done it. I am sorry.” “You don’t have to apologize. I was the one that snuggled up to you.” “Why did you even do that if you weren’t asleep yet?” “I was drunk and I was cold. It was just another thing I did without thinking.” John sighed and suddenly he noticed Freddie’s tears. “Oh, Freddie don’t cry. Please. If you cry I also start crying.” John stepped closer to Freddie and put his hand on his cheek. Gently he brushed his tears away.

Freddie wanted to dissapear and at the same time he just wanted to kiss John’s perfect pinkish lips. And in this moment a wave of sorrow hit him. Questioning his sexuality and developing feelings for his best friend, he just couldn’t stand this anymore and he started sobbing. He threw his cigarette away and sank down while putting his hands to his face because he didn’t want John to see him like this. A heap of misery.  
John sank down next to him. “Please, Freddie I don’t want to make you feel like this. Stop crying I…I can’t stand when you’re sad come on please.”, he begged. Gently he put his hands on Freddie’s arms to put them down. John and Freddie made eye contact, Freddie looking bad. Tears under his eyes. Eyes red and glassy. “I am sorry, Freddie. I am sorry that I quasi told the others about it. And I am sorry that I didn’t realize how serious this kiss was to you.” “It’s not your fault.” “And it isn’t yours. So stop crying and come back inside with me again. Please.” “I can’t.” “Why not? I know you can, just don’t mind Roger’s and Bri’s comments abou-“ “It’s not them, John. It’s you. I kissed you and it means absolutely nothing to you.” “Freddie I am sorry. I don’t know how to feel about it, okay? But it doesn’t mean nothing to me. I am just not sure about it.”

At those words Freddie stood up and John followed him. “So you are saying that…you might have feelings for me as well?” “I am not sure…maybe.” “How long will it take you to figure it out…I mean I kissed you didn’t you feel anything? Wasn’t that a moment in which you had to notice if you had more feelings for me than just being friends?” “Uhm…I mean yeah but come on. I had my eyes closed I didn’t even see that coming and also I wasn’t sure if you hadn’t just done it because you were drunk.” “Okay and how long do you think it’ll take you to figure out your feelings for me?” “Freddie…that’s nothing I can tell but I feel like I already have an answer I just have to make sure I mean it.” “Then tell me.” “No, let’s go inside again okay?” “No, no, no wait. You can’t say that you have an answer and then just leave. Please just tell me if it’s positive or negative I just want to know and then I’ll go with you anywhere you want.” John sighed at his mistake to say that he already had an idea of an answer. “If you have feelings for me than you’ll be very happy about my answer.”

Without saying more John turned around and went to the house again. Freddie half smiled when John turned towards him again. “Are you not going to follow me?” Freddie started to walk back with him immediately and when they were inside he realized how cold he actually was. He was almost shivering. “Sooo, Freddie?-“, Roger started. “Don’t.”, John said harsh and for the rest of the night they ignored what had happened.

When John noticed that Freddie who sat next to him was shivering because of the cold he got a little closer to him and offered him to shift under his blanket. Freddie was extremely happy and sad at the same time – eagerly waiting for John’s answer to the question if he had feelings for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite happy how this turned out! :) Enjoy!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here it is finally!! i actually planned on writing this way earlier but i had so much to do because of school buuuut i have school break for the next two weeks so yeah :)

It was already 2 am when the men finally decided to go to bed. Brian and Roger went to Brian’s room this time without secretly fucking there and then Roger sneaking back to his own room. “You could sleep in Roger’s room tonight if you want, John. Now that Bri and Rog openly sleep in the same one.” “I would prefer to sleep in your room if that’s okay with you?” “Uhm yeah…of course it is.” Freddie opened the door to his room and as they both were way more drunk than the night before they didn’t even bother to change their clothes. Freddie fell into the bed and John did the same. “Good night, Freddie.” “Good night.” Without talking anymore they both tried to sleep, but Freddie couldn’t sleep. Just like yesterday.

“John are you still awake?”, he softly asked after 20 minutes or so. “Yeah.”, the bassist hummed. “Open your eyes.” “Why?” “Just do it, okay?” John opened his eyes and with the moonlight falling into the room he saw the sillhouette of Freddie and- “John I really like you.”, were the last words before Freddie kissed John again. This time John was clearly awake because he returned the kiss. “I like you too.”, John whispered and kissed Freddie again. “But I am too tired and too drunk to do this right now. Let’s continue this tomorrow, okay?” “Okay…good night, Deacy.” “Good night.”

John cuddled up to Freddie again but this time it wasn’t only because he was drunk. Freddie couldn’t help but smile like a psychopath because he was so happy. John promised to continue tomorrow. But what if he couldn’t even remember tomorrow? The singer tried to stop himself from overthinking and got closer to his friend. John smelled so good and with him in his arms Freddie actually could fall asleep.

They slept through the whole morning and there was literally no way that this was going to be a productive day. At around 2 pm John got up. Freddie was still sleeping and he looked wonderful, his mouth slightly opened. John sighed while putting on fresh clothes. Did Freddie and he really kiss last night or was that just a dream? He was pretty sure that it really happened, however he decided to just go downstairs to make some breakfast.

In the kitchen he found Brian and Roger. In fact, they were making out. John cleared his throat. “Uhm…I really don’t want to disturb you, but I need some tea.” “Sorry, Deacy…we just had a really good night and-“ “Hush, Roggie. He doesn’t need to know about our sex life. But what’s more interesting, John, what’s with you and Freddie?” John gave Brian a weird look while pouring himself some tea. “Uh…what should be between us?” Roger laughed. “Oh come on. The drink game yesterday? And you two sleeping in the same room?” “Well…uhm…we actually kissed…but I am not sure if he remembers.” “Did you like it?”, Roger asked excited. “Uhm yeah…I guess so.”

It was at this moment Freddie came into the room singing happily and Roger and Brian started chuckling. “I think we’ll leave you two.”, Brian said grinning while pushing Roger out of the room. With a confused look Freddie starred at John. “They…uhm were asking why we slept in the same room.” “Oh okay…hey, John I wanted to ask you something.” “Yeah?” The bassists whole body was tensed and he was nervously waiting for said question. “Can you still remember that you promised me something yesterday?” John immediately blushed and wanted to run away. “Yes…I can remember that.” Freddie smirked and without hesitation he went to John and pushed him against the counter he was standing at. “Freddie-“  
Freddie kissed John and this time the kiss was more intense than ever. Even though they both head a miserable headache they were sober and both were a hundred percent aware of what was happening. That one kiss faded into making out. John put his hands on Freddie’s waist while Freddie was less subtle. His hands were all over John and he explored every inch of his body. The kitchen was silent except for kissing noises and very tiny moans in between them.  
Suddenly, John pushed Freddie away. “I don’t know if this ir right.” “What do you mean?” They locked eyes. “We are two men. I don’t know if I can do this.” “Are you serious right now? Two nights ago you told me that there’s no problem with two men loving eachother and now you say this. Look at Brian and Roger. Do you think their love is wrong?”, Freddie was angry now and he couldn’t believe what John was talking about. “No. No definitly not. I am sorry- I am just so confused.” He looked down and fell around Freddie’s neck. They hugged firmly when Freddie noticed that John was crying. “I am confused as well, John.” He put his fingers under the bassists chin and made him look up. “But I really like you and I want to be more to you than just friends, okay?” John sniffed and brushed away his tears. “I like you, too. I am just so scared because you are…you are you. The greatest singer and you are loved by so many people. And I am…a lame bassist.” “Don’t you ever say that again! It’s not true. You are loved by everyone. You are so precious and I want to kiss you all the time. I am thinking about nothing but you the whole day. Why would I be standing here telling you these things right now if you were so ‘lame’?” John kissed Freddie softly on his lips and it was a short kiss, but filled with hundreds of feelings. “Thank you.”, he whispered and leaned in for another hug. “I just want you to know that my feelings for you are true.” “I know that they are.” “Good.” Freddie smiled at John and he returned the smile. “You are so handsome, dear.”, Freddie said and kissed John’s forehead.

\----

As expected they didn’t do much this day. They played some scrabble, talked about the upcoming tour and Freddie and John cuddled up on the sofa. At some point Roger and Brian disappeared to their room for who knows what activities, so John and Freddie were alone in the living room. “I think I am going to take a shower now.”, John said. “Is it okay for you if I’ll leave you?” “As long as you’ll come back.”, Freddie said smirking. With a passionate kiss John stood up and went to the bathroom.

Freddie went to their room meanwhile and he got into bed. He’s been horny ever since the first time he kissed John, but there was no time to find some pleasure, but right now with John in the bathroom and Roger and Brian in their room he had some time. Fast he unzipped his jeans and pulled out his already quite hard dick. It didn’t take him a long time to start moaning quietly. Freddie thought about John who was under the shower right now – or at least that’s what he assumed.

Suddenly the door opened and John entered the room. “Fuck, John!”, Freddie shouted and pulled up his knees to cover his penis. “Woah…uhm…I’m sorry.”, John stumbled, but he had a small smirk on his lips. “I thought you took a shower??” “Yes, I already did. I don’t need much time.” John went closer to Freddie who was red of embarrassment. He tried to zip his pants again but his boner was slightly in the way so he just tried to pull his shirt down as much as possible.  
“It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed, I mean we all do it and you couldn’t know that I already finished showering and I didn’t even knock.”, John tried to comfort Freddie. He placed a kiss on his cheek and then on his lips. “I’ll leave you alone now, okay?” Freddie nodded his heart still beating extremly fast. John left the room and closed the door. The singer lied down again and sighed. Even though he was very ashamed, he was kind of aroused as well. John catching him while jerking off and being so open about it. He started to think about John again and soon he came all over his hand.

After cleaning up he went down to the kitchen where John was. Bri and Roger were probably still in their room. “You okay?”, John asked smiling. “Yes, very okay actually.” “I can imagine.” Both chuckled. “Sorry again for…you know…entering the room without knocking.” “It’s okay. Actually I found it quite exciting…I mean in a good way, you know getting caught.” John nodded and grinned then he kissed Freddie. “I found it exciting as well. Seeing you touching yourself was so hot.” Freddie smiled and returned the kiss. They pressed their bodies together while making out and in that moment everything felt perfect.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have to tell you i worked quite long at this one and i LOVE IT! i mean many people would consider it as weird (i guess lol?) but i thought it was kinda fun (at least the 2nd part)  
> buuuut i have to warn you: there is some smut in the 2nd half but it's not extremely dirty..just a little ;)  
> also there's mentioning of self-harm in the first part so if you want to skip it, don't read the first two paragraphs!!
> 
> enjoy reading!!! :)

They still were in the kitchen kissing when suddenly they heared a door being slammed. John and Freddie twitched and ran into the hall were Brian came down the stairs with a blade in his hands. “Go up to Roger!”, he shouted and without hesitation they ran upstairs. Roger was curled up in the bed sobbing and screaming ‘sorry’. “Roggie! What’s going on?”, John kneeled next to the bed and took Roger’s hand. Freddie and he saw that there was a quite deep cut on his wrist. Now Freddie sat on the bed. “What did you do, Roggie?” He placed a hand on Roger’s hip and waited for an answer but Roger couldn’t speak. “He cut himself.”, said Brian who entered the room again with a first aid kit. “Tomorrow I am going to a psychologist with you, Roger. You can’t go on like this.” Roger just nodded while crying and Brian replaced John’s spot where he cleaned Roger’s wound and wrapped his hand in bandage.

“You should sleep now, baby, okay?” Roger nodded again and then Brian and the others went outside. “Wait.”, Roger said his voice cracking. “Won’t you stay with me?” Brian looked at Freddie and John. “You should stay with him.”, John said and took the first aid kit from Brian. “Thanks.” 

Downstairs in the living room Freddie sat down on the sofa as he watched John putting the first aid kit back to his place. John was so beautiful and his body looked perfect. Freddie felt really bad when he felt his cock getting harder in view of what just happened. He crossed his legs to hide anything John shouldn’t see right now. “I think it’s really good for us to spent time in this farmhouse. I mean if we weren’t here we wouldn’t know how bad Roger’s mental illness actually is.” “Yeah you’re right.” “I’m glad that Brian goes to a doctor with him.” “That’s the only right way.” “Yeah it is.”

John sunk down next to Freddie and fell into his arms. “Are you okay?”, Freddie asked worried. “I’m fine…this sort of stuff is just a little bit triggering to me.” “I know what you mean. But you are with me now and I’ll take care of you, darling.” John smiled and placed a kiss on Freddie’s cheek. “I’m so happy that those things between us happened.” “Me too, I really am in love with you.”

Freddie covered John’s lips with his own and kissed him hungrily. John responded by placing his hands around the singers neck. Freddie opened his mouth and the younger man slipped his tongue into it. Their tongues played and explored eachothers mouths. Soft moans filled the room and they felt just perfect for eachother.

Their kisses got deeper and more passionate when they started touching eachother. John’s hands wandered down from Freddie’s neck to his hips. Because Freddie still had his legs crossed, John put one hand on his knee to change that. With a fast move he swung himself onto Freddie’s lap and both jiggled like teenagers in love.

“Freddie, I feel your boner.”, John laughed and hugged his friend. “I’m sorry.”, the singer answered and returned the hug snickering. “But you’re just too handsome for me.” “Ugh…not really.” Freddie cupped John’s cheeks and looked him into his eyes. “Darling, you are the most beautiful human being, please believe me.” “Thank you, Freddie. You are the most beautiful human being for me, too.” Both smiled happily and kissed eachother.

Freddie smirked at John and placed his hand on his ass. “Also…isn’t my boner assurance enough?” John chuckled. “It’s the second time for you today to have a boner so I don’t think this is too special.” Freddie made an upset expression. “But both times were because of you.” With these words he pinched John’s butt cheeks who giggled even more now. “Stop that!” “What if I don’t want to stop?” He kissed the bassist on his neck. “Maybe I want you to get a boner as well?” “By pinching my butt?” “Of course my dear.” Freddie laughed and did it once again. “Stop!”, shouted John again and pushed Freddie playfully down at the sofa.

The two were now laying on top of eachother and the older man had his hands still at the same place. They locked eyes for a short moment and then started kissing. It was hot – they wanted eachother. John bit Freddie’s lip and placed his hands on his chest. “You’re so hot, Freddie.”, he said half moaning. Freddie grabbed John’s butt again, but this time it wasn’t bouncily, it was to pull him as close as possible.”I can feel you are getting hard as well darling, aren’t you?”, joked Freddie. John just nodded and continued kissing the singer.

They were making out passionately and started grinding against eachother. They especially enjoyed rubbing their boners against eachother. “I am so hard, John.”, panted Freddie. “Me too. But Freddie…I…I don’t know if I’m ready…I mean-“ “It’s okay. I mean I would love to do this with you, but it’s only been two days since we had our first kiss.” The man smiled and kissed John on his cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” “Yes, don’t worry, darling. Actually I think it’s probably better if we take things slower.”

John kissed Freddie again. “Do you still want to make out?” Freddie wheezed. “What a question!” He placed his hands on John’s cheeks and kissed him deeply. “But if you keep laying on me like that, you know I can feel your hard cock and stuff, I’ll probably come in my pants.” John smiled and made a grinding movement against Freddie’s private area. “You mean like this?” Freddie nodded grinning and tried to push John away but he fought back against it. “Maybe I want you to come in your pants. Just like a teenager that is so horny for me that he can’t hold it back.” They kissed again and John continued the grinding which made them panting. “I am so horny for you that I can’t hold it back, darling. So please stop or elsewise I will mess up my pants. Also I thought we decided to wait?” Both grinned and continued rubbing at eachother. “I know but…you’re so hot and it’s so hard to stop.” “It really is…but it would be better.”

The two man were now not only panting but moaning quietly. “Okay, okay…”, John stopped his movement. “How about we both go to our rooms and you know…then we’ll come back and make out again.” “Sounds good, darling.”, Freddie said breathless. They kissed once again and hurried to their rooms.

Fast John pulled down his pants to free his aching cock and he thought that he probably never was that hard. Thinking about Freddie he came very fast and cleaned up the mess he just made on the small desk in his room. Before he went up again he sat down on his bed to relax for a short while.

When he went up again Freddie was already waiting for him. It would be so hard to wait, but it was probably better. He didn’t want to rush anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave comments or kudos to let me now if you liked it! :)


	6. Chapter 6

In the evening John was making some dinner. Actually he wasn’t really making dinner. He was just bringing some bread, different spreads, cheese and vegetables to the table. Freddie set the table. Normally, Brian would make dinner but he was still upstairs with Roger but he told Freddie earlier that they would join dinner.

“I hope Roger is better now, I really don’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or anything.”, John explained to Freddie who was laying some forks onto the table. “Don’t worry. He is stronger than he appears. We should probably suggest to do something cozy tonight.” “Maybe watching a movie?” Freddie nodded his head in John’s direction and smiled. “Lovely idea, darling. So he can relax and cuddle up with Brian…and I can cuddle with you.” John smirked and kissed Freddie.  
“Oh my god you two are kissing!” John and Freddie gained some distance frome each other and looked to the stairs were Roger was just coming down. His eyes were still a little swollen from crying and he looked very exhausted but he smiled like a child at the scene in front of him.

“Are you finally together now?”, he asked excited. John widened his eyes in surprise. “Finally? What do you mean?” “I mean that there always were some sparkles between you two. And also Brian and me are together, so how cool is it that you two are now as well?” Freddie looked calmly at Roger. “Very cool. Speaking of Brian, where is he?” “Oh he is just changing clothes so he’ll be downstairs in a minute.” John was glad that Freddie changed the topic because it was a strange feeling to talk about their relationship in such an official way. It’s only been three days and it obviously still was very new for both of them.

When Brian came down they started eating and John and Freddie made their suggestion of watching a movie later. The other two liked the idea especially because Roger was extremely anxious of tomorrow and needed something to soothe his nerves. After they were done with this conversation, John and Freddie had to went through the ‘Are you two dating?’ talk once again because Roger made some allusions. They weren’t mad at him tho.

After dinner Brian and Freddie cleaned the table while John and Roger went into the living room to put lots of blankets and pillows onto the sofe because they wanted to make it as cozy as possible. “Hey, can I ask you something?”, Roger asked suddenly. “Of course.” “Uhm this may be a little weird but you know…you are so nice and calm so I wanted to ask you this. And also I know that you are only together since a couple of days but…I don’t know did you ever think that you might not be enough for Freddie?” John looked really worried by now because he couldn’t stand seeing Roger like this. He thought a moment before he spoke. “Acually yes, but I spoke with him about it. I mean it wasn’t really a whole conversation but he definitly made sure to let me know how much he likes and wants me. Why? Do you feel that way with Brian?” Roger looked down sadly. “Yeah…” “You should tell him that. You two are so sweet and I am sure he’ll tell you how much he loves you. You know…it’s very imporant to talk to eachother.” The drummer nodded and hugged John. “Thank you.”, he said softly while John patted his back.

“Do you two want to make us jealous?”, Freddie asked jokingly when Brian and he entered the room. John and Roger let go and chuckled. “Did it work?”, John said and Freddie went up to him to kiss him. “Maybe.”, he kidded. Brian and Roger snickered at their behaviour and Brian kissed Roger as well. Then he hugged him very tightley and whispered that he loved him. The four sat down and each couple shared a blanket and cuddled. They watched Orange Clockwork which happened to be Roger’s favourite movie.

John inhaled the smell of Freddie – he smell just too good and with his head against Freddie’s chest John fell asleep quite early. After John the other men followed. Luckily the sofa was big enough for all of them spending the night on it.

 

\----

 

The next day John and Freddie woke up alone, but there was a note on the couch table. ‘We’re at the psychologist’s. Gotta work much today, cause we’ve been so lazy the last days! Bri’ Freddie sighed. “I love working on music but I’d rather spend the day with you.” “Me too, but he’s right we have to finish the album.” “How about making out until they come home again?”, Freddie asked with a smirk on his lips. “A great idea, but I’ll go and brush my teeth at first. At least if you aren’t a fan of morning breath.” “I’ll join you.” Freddie took John’s hand and they went to the bathroom upstairs.

“Do you mind if I’ll change my clothes in front of you?”, Freddie asked after they finished. They were in his room by now and he pointed at a staple of maybe- or maybe not fresh clothes.”Of course not”, John said smiling wide. “I’ll change mine, too.” Freddie smirked knowing that he’ll finally see what is in John’s pants.

Freddie didn’t mind being naked in front of him and soon stand fully naked in the room. John on the other hand was very shy. When he was naked he realized that there actually weren’t fresh clothes for him in Freddie’s room. “You can borrow something from me:”, said Freddie who noticed John’s concern. John tried to crack a smile and said “Thank you.”, but he couldn’t hide how uncomfortable he was.

Freddie went up to him and kissed him. “Don’t be so ashamed. You are so sexy, darling.” John laughed nervously. “I am anything but sexy.” “Are you kidding me? I am already getting hard again.” Now John was a little bit more relaxed. “Do you really think I am sexy?”, he asked still quite self-concious.” “Of course I do, darling! You are so bloody beautiful and sexy, do you know how hard it is not to go down on you right now?” John laughed and kissed Freddie again. He could always cheer him up wih his dirty-minded statements. “It’s very hard for me too.”

They both smiled at eachothers and started kissing. John suddenly could feel Freddie’s boner against his own dick which immediately started to get harder as well. John couldn’t help but going a step back and looking down at the sudden touch. “I’m sorry.”, Freddie said slightly embarrassed. John looked up again and jiggled. “No it’s fine. It just surprised me.”

John and Freddie laughed and continued making out. They pulled eachother closer and soon their cocks were between them grinding against their skin. Freddie pulled away. “Darling, I want to touch you so badly.”, he said panting. “Indeed we said to wait and stuff but…I mean touching eachother isn’t really heving sex, right?” “You’re right.”

Freddie kissed John again this time way needier. “So…is it okay if I’ll touch your cock?”, he said a little hesitant. John just nodded and placed a kiss on Freddie’s lips. The singer closed his hand around John’s shaft who let out a moan. “Sorry-“, he wanted to say but was instantly interrupted by Freddie. “No, don’t you dare and apologize. It’s so hot when you moan.”

The older man slowly started to jerk John off who grabbed Freddie’s hair and hold onto him while quietly moaning into his ear. Freddie got goosebumps at those sounds which ecouraged him to speed up the pace a little. He used John’s precum to make it feel even better.

Suddenly they heard steps from downstairs and in less than a minute they were fully dressed. Both knew that they had to work and besides of that Roger just came from an important and hard appointment and he probably wouldn’t be too lucky to find his friends making out.

“Fuck.”, Freddie said and looked at John. Both tried to hide their boners which was quite hard. “They can’t see us like that.”, John panicked. Freddie had an idea and opened the door a crack. “We’ll come downstairs in a second!”, he shouted downstairs. When he went back into the room he saw John’s aching dick which was leaking precum. This scene in front of him didn’t help getting rid of his own boner.

Unexpectedly John who was initially freaking out started laughing. “What is it?”, Freddie asked confused. “This is just so typical. When we finally decide to do more than just kissing and stuff it goes totally wrong.” Freddie cracked a smile. “Yeah but it didn’t go completely wrong. I could still jerk you off if you want.” “No because then I’ll have to leave you with that.”, John answered pointing at Freddie’s boner. “We can continue tonight…only if you want.” “I’m sure I will be down for it.” Smirking John kissed Freddie again and they decided to go down, hoping that their bandmates won’t notice their problem.

When they went down they asked Roger about his appointment and he actually seemed rather happy. “It was good! He said that I most likely have a depressive episode and an anxiety disorder, but he also said that he needed to see me more often to make an actual diagnosis. He also told me stuff about those illnesses which made so much sense to me.” “That’s great, Roggie!”, John cheered and patted his shoulder. “So you’re ready to work on the album?”, Freddie asked with raised eyebrows. “Yeah totally.” “So let’s go to the recording room.”, Brian said taking Roger’s hand.

They recorded Seaside Rendevouz and Good Company on this day and all of them were very exhausted. They almost finished recording the tracks of their newest album which meant that they wouldn’t stay at the farmhouse much longer. It made them kind of sad because they had much fun staying together. 

When they left the recording studio it was already getting dark outside. “Brian and I are going to make dinner.”, Roger declared and rushed to the kitchen together with his boyfriend. “They are so cute.”, John said to Freddie. “Yes they are. And I am so happy that Roger is in therapy now.” “Me too. He deserves happiness.” “I don’t want to change the topic like this, but do you want to go to my room?”, Freddie said grinning. John just took his hand smiling and pulling him out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAN Y'ALL PLEASE APPRECIATE THE 'Bri' AT THE END OF THE NOTE THAT MAY BE THE BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE
> 
> ok i love you all btw - over 100 kudos thanks!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all!!! i didnt want to upload in the next 2 days or so BUT ive been so productive (who am i??) so i already got this chapter and its longer than usual and the next chapter as well (wont upload that one already tho)

When they entered Freddie’s room they fell onto the bed together and started kissing. Their hands wandered all over their bodies and they were totally horny for eachother, but decided to take it slower. Freddie was on top and started kissing John’s neck. Slowly he got lower until the shirt he was wearing was in the way. Freddie made John sit up and took off his shirt before he pushed him down again.

He kissed John’s chest at first. Then his tummy and then he came up again. “You’re so beautiful, John.”, he whispered. “You are beautiful as well, Freddie.”, he whispered back and placed a kiss on Freddie’s forehead. Freddie returned a kiss on his shoulder and slowly placed his hand on John’s crotch. He felt that he was already getting hard – no wonder thinking about how they were left before.

John took off Freddie’s shirt and while they kissed Freddie continued palming John’s dick through his pants which made him pant. John cupped Freddie’s cheeks and french kissed him passionately. When he let go he smiled. “You taste perfect.” “You too.”

Now Freddie shifted himself under John because he didn’t want to be on top, he was more sturdy and scared to hurt his younger friend. John used his opportunity to sit up – he was now sitting on Freddie in cowboy position. “Do you think we’ll finish before dinner is ready?”, he said while biting his lips and stroking the singers chest. “No.”, the other one laughed. “Maybe we should wait before we have to go downstairs with massive boners again.” They chuckled and John bowed down to kiss Freddie.

They decided to cuddle until dinner is ready before going deeper into things. “I love your hair.”, John said softly while patting Freddie’s black and wavy hair. “It’s almost as beautiful as yours, darling.”, Freddie answered. “No!” This time John laughed. He didn’t say this to put himself down he was joking. Both smiled from ear to ear, they were so happy together and their naked upper bodies felt perfect touching eachother.

“I don’t want to go back home. I love being together with all four of you.”, John said sighing. “Me too, darling. We have to meet up as often as possible when we go back.” “If we spend too much time together in public people may get suspicious.” Freddie shifted himself up and looked John in the eyes. “I know. But you can always come to me, my dear. Noone will see us there.” John giggled. “That sounds dangerous.” Freddie grinned at John. “Maybe it is.” “But for real. If I’m alone with you in your appartment I won’t be able to keep my hands to myself.” “That doesn’t bother me to be honest.”, Freddie laughed and kissed the other man.

After 20 minutes of cuddling and fooling around Brian finally got them for dinner. “We made burgers.”, he announced while going down. “Wait. Burgers? But-“ “They are vegetarian.”, Brian said to Freddie who was confused because they usually don’t eat meat for the reason that Brian was vegetarian. “We made the patties out of chickpeas. They are really tasty. Also we have a surprise for you.” At those words they reached the dining room where Roger was pouring wine into a glass.

“Oh darlings.”, Freddie said out of speech. The lights were dimmed and there were a few candles on the table. Dinner was already served and the burgers looked delicious to his surprise. There were fries on the plates as well and then he realized that there were only two plates, but before he could ask Roger began to explain. “We know it isn’t exactly the most romantic dinner, but it was the easiest because this way Bri and I can just grab some burgers and go to our room.” John took a step forward and now stood next to Freddie. “So you made this just for us?” “Yeah we thought it would be a good idea because as we are all in this house you don’t have much time to talk alone.”, Brian said and Rogger added that they were probably busy doing other things than talking at which Brian gave him a grumpy stare but then laughed as well. “We hope you like it.” “Oh my god, yes, of course darlings. It’s so lovely.” “Thank you so much guys.”, John said and took Freddie’s hand while saying it. Brian and Roger took some Burgers and Fries and dissapeared.

Freddie and John were now alone in the dining room and they sat down at the table. “This is so romantic.”, John said smiling at Freddie. Suddenly he was extremly nervous but Freddie was as well. “Yes it it. You look so handsome in the candle light.” “Thank you, you too.” They both blushed and started eating. “This is really good.”, Freddie said surprised to which John responded with nodding. While eating they also drank a few glasses of wine.

“I could do this for the rest of our lives.”, John said after a while. “What do you mean?” “Eating dinner with you with candles and wine.” Freddie smiled thinking about how cute John was. “Understandable.” Both chuckled. “Can I ask you something?”, Freddie asked now a little bit more serious. “Of course, always.” “If we are going to do…uhm you know…touch eachother, are you sure you want that already?” “Why are you asking? Don’t you want it?” “Yes, I want it, darling. I am just afraid to kind of pressure you or something.” John took a sip of wine and cleared his throat. “Don’t worry. I do want it, I’m just a little afraid. I have no idea how it works.” “I’m afraid too. But I guess it’s easier than with a woman. I mean if you think about it we both know what feels good.” “Yeah you’re right.”

They finished dinner and spoke about different topics, from their new album to Freddie’s cats and how much he missed them. Afterwards they blew out the candles and brought the plates to the kitchen and placed them next to the sink. They went upstairs together but came up to sounds that were very interesting. ‘God, yes Bri.’, they heard coming from Roger’s and Brian’s bedroom. Both looked at eachother with big eyes before holding back their laughs. Fast they ran upstairs again.

“Oh my god they have sex right now!”, John blurted out laughing. Freddie laughed with him. It wasn’t meant to be mean, they were just shocked to actually hear those actions. “Do you think Roger is the bottom?”, Freddie asked chuckling. John continued to laugh as well. “Yes, that’s kind of obvious.”, he nodded. “Who would be bottom of us?” And that was when both stopped their hysterical laughing. John smiled and made a thinking gesture. “I think it’s obvious as well, isn’t it?”, Freddie joked. “Oh shut up.”, John snickered and pushed Freddie playfully.

Freddie however grabbed John’s hips and pulled him closer. They locked eyes and Freddie looked at the slightly taller man. “Darling, how about going to your room?” John grinned and bit his lip before kissing Freddie. “Okay.” They went downstairs and entered John’s room which was a little bit smaller than the others – and colder. 

“How could you sleep in this bloody cold room without freezing your arse off?”, Freddie asked looking sceptical at the bassist. “Well I drink very much tea. But I really don’t know to be honest.” “Come here, it’s so cold.”, said Freddie while fake shivering. John went up to him and fell into his arms. “You smell so good.”, John sighed happily. “Really? Because actually I really should take a shower. “Hm…are you thinking the same as I do?" “What? You want to shower together?” Freddie raised his eyebrows and pressed his lips together. “Think about it. It’s warm and steamy under the shower and it would be just us.”, John whispered and took Freddie’s hand to pull him to the shower. Without really having a chance to say anything Freddie followed him into the bathroom.

John pulled his shirt off as soon as they had closed the door behind them. “I’ve been waiting for this so long.”, he panted and kissed Freddie hungrily. “Oh, John.”, Freddie moaned softly and returned the kissing. He placed his hands on John’s hips and wandered up to his chest where he caressed his nipples. John moaned softly which made Freddie shiver. Slowly he went lower with his head. At first Freddie placed kisses on John’s cheek then on his neck, on his shoulder until he finally reached his nipples. He played with them with his tongue which made John moan a little louder. “I didn’t know that this would feel good.” Freddie came up again and kissed John. “Maybe I can show you other things that feel good as well.”, he answered smirking.

Freddie took his shirt off as well and hugged John tight. “You are so perfect. I want you so badly.”, he said tenderly. “I want you too.” “Do you think something will interrupt us again?” “I swear to you if Roger and Brian come into this room I will make out with you in front of their eyes. That’s how bad I want you.” Freddie chuckled and ruffled John’s hair. “I like how determined you are when you’re horny.”, he hummed.

John bit his lip – Freddie couldn’t describe how sexy he looked while doing that. Freddie placed a soft kiss on John’s nose and let go of him. John turned to the shower and leaned into it to turn on the water and find a good temperature. When he stood upright again Freddie hugged him from behind and kissed his neck and ear. The older man exploited his position and palmed John’s crotch. His cock was arleady stone hard. “You like me palming you like that, don’t you darling?” “Yes.”, John moaned. “We are wasting water.”, he then added giggling. “You’re right.” Freddie turned John around and unzipped his pants. “Undress yourself.”, he ordered in a soft tone while he got rid of his clothes as well. They both entered the shower now, being hard and horny for eachother.

The water ran over them as they were exploring eachothers bodies. “Can I touch you?”, John said carefully after a while. “Yes please.” Slowly he started massaging Freddie’s cock who whimpered under the touch. “This feels so good.”  
They continued kissing and John held up the pace until Freddie started rocking his hips against him. He let go of Freddie’s member and started to rock his own hips against Freddie as well. “You liked the grinding we did before, didn’t you?”, John said during the kisses with a smirk on his face. Freddie didn’t answer he just kept kissing John and pressing their bodies together which lead to quiet moans between them.

Suddenly their was a knock on the door. “Freddie are you in there? I need to pee.” It was Roger’s voice and the both knew he wouldn’t respect Freddie’s privacy as long as he was thinking that Freddie was alone. But at the same time they didn’t want to admit that they in fact weren’t alone. “Uhm…could you hold it back please? It’s really not a good time to come in right now…” “Oh come on. I’ve seen you naked several times!” John lifted an eyebrow at Freddie who just shook his head. “Yeah, but…ugh can you just keep out right now?” “Fred, you are living in this house with three other people and one bathroom. If you want to jerk yourself off you can do it in your room but not in the bathroom. I drank three bloody cups of tea!”

Freddie rolled his eyes and pushed John down who was confused at first but then he understood what Freddie was trying to do. He pulled the shower curtain in front of John. You could clearly see his sillhouette but they were hoping that Roger wouldn’t notice.

“Okay you can pee, but hurry up…and don’t look!”, he shouted annoyed. The door opened and Roger passed the shower on his way to the toilet. “Why was that so hard?” “Because I want to shower in peace.” Roger waited a second. “I thought it was because of Deaky sucking your dick.” John looked up at Freddie who as well was shocked. “He isn’t…sucking my dick.” Roger looked over his shoulder grinning. “Why is he squatting in front of you then?”

John stood up fast and took a look out of the shower. “Just for the record…I am not sucking his dick.” “It’s okay…I mean after the romantic dinner we made for you.” “How could you even drink the cups of tea if you were fucking Brian?”, Freddie suddenly blurted out. Roger was now finished and washing his hands. “Well, that was a lie, but I really needed to go, but I’ll let you continue your work now.” Those were his last words before closing the door again.

Freddie sighed angrily but John knew how to calm him down. “Don’t be angry, baby.”, he cooed softly and let his hand wander from his chest down to his shaft which was now not so hard anymore. “We were just having so much fun.” He placed a kiss on his cheek and smiled at him. “I know but we just went to the bathroom because we weren’t able to do it in a cozy room because of them and even here we got disturbed. And now the hot water is getting cold.” John turned off the water. “You’re right. I really enjoy it but those are the worse parts about living together as four people. Maybe we could go to your room…I mean Roger and Bri seem to have finished their thing.” John made those puppy eyes Freddie just couldn’t resist. Slowly he started smirking again and kissed the bassist.

Freddie stepped out of the shower first and grabbed a towel. He put it around John as the man was stepping outside the shower as well. “It’s ridiculous how many times we got cut off by now.”, Freddie said while drying his friend and looking at his dick which was surprisingly still hard. “We should’ve just continued the first time – sorry for asking to wait.” “Don’t worry it’s okay and in a way I want to wait as well. I mean I am not sure if I would be ready for…you know putting my dick into you or the other way around.” John nodded in agreement. “Yeah and I don’t know if I would be able to suck your dick yet without embarrassing myself – even though Roger thinks I already did that.” Freddie snickered and now dryed his own body.

They had a careful look out of the bathroom because they forgot to take fresh clothes with them. When they made sure that noone is in the hall they sneaked to Freddie’s room with the dirty clothes in their arms. In the room they threw the clothes onto the floor and were surprised. It was already extremly dark outside. John looked at the clock standing on the desk. “It’s already twelve.” “How’s that even possible?”, Freddie asked while closing the curtains.

John sat on the bed while Freddie took some clothes out of his drawer. “Hey, John I don’t want to be mean or anything but I don’t know if I’m still in the mood for it right now. It’s been a very long day and I’m very sorry I just…I don’t know I feel like it wouldn’t be too good right know.” John stood up now and hugged Freddie. “It’s okay. I understand you and you don’t have to apologize. I am actually glad that you’re so open about this with me.” Freddie softly kissed John and then slightly touched his cock. “I can still jerk you off if you want. You’ve been hard for way too long now.” John laughed and closed his hands around his own dick. “No…really it’s okay. I’ll just go to the bathroom.” “Okay.”, Freddie said quietly and kissed John a last time.

John slipped into one of the singer’s shirts and a pair of boxers. “Make sure not toblock the bathroom for too long.”, Freddie chuckled before John left the room. In the bathroom John got his dick out and started wanking it. He had to admit that he was kind of frustrated that Freddie wasn’t in the mood right now but doing it in his clothes was also arousing in some way. He tried to remember the way it felt to rub their bodies against eachother and after a few minutes he came into the toilet. With some toilet paper he cleaned the rest of his load off his dick and flushed it.

Back in the room Freddie was already laying in bed and he was welcoming John by lifting up the blanket a little bit. John turned off the light and slipped under the blanket feeling the warmth of Freddie. “How was it?”, Freddie whispered giggling. “Mind-blowing. The best orgasm I’ve ever had.”, John answered sarcastically. Both chuckled and got closer to eachother. “For real now, do you feel good? I mean I am being kind of a jerk by backing out-“ “No…stop saying that. It’s your right to decide when you are in the mood for it and when not. It’s okay, Freddie.” With those words he planted a kiss on Freddie’s jawline and cuddled up to him. “And besides that, it was kinda hot jerking off in your clothes.” Freddie grunted. “Oh I can imagine.”

They remained cuddling for a few minutes. “Good night, my darling.”, Freddie finally said and kissed John’s forehead. “Good night,”, John answered. “Sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me if you liked it! <3 :))


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: smut

The next day Freddie woke up quite early. John was still sleeping and it was very untypical for him to be awake before John but he tried to let the bassist sleep. Slowly he got out of bed trying to be as quiet as possible. When he looked at the clock he realized it was only 6 o’clock in the morning. Not expecting anybody at this time he went to the kitchen and was surprised when he found Brian.

“Hey, Bri.”, he said softly. “Morning, Fred. What are you doing at this time?” “I could ask you the same…I just woke up I don’t really know why.” Brian sighed and took a sip from his coffee. “Well, I couldn’t sleep as well.” “Because of Roger?” “Yeah, but don’t tell him. I am just very worried about him. It really keeps me up.” Freddie nodded unterstanding and went to make some tea. “I know what you mean, but he’s a grown man and he’s getting therapy now, so he soon will be better.” “I hope so. He cried himself to sleep last night and in general he’s been crying so much lately and in the next second he’s just so happy. It hurts to have him in my arms crying and not being able to stop him.” “I don’t know much about depression and anxiety disorders but I know for sure that it isn’t your fault and you’re doing everything possible to be there for him. And I think being there for him is everything he needs from us. Especially from you.” 

Freddie opened a pack of peppermint tea and poured the tea over it. “Thanks, Freddie. This really means much to me. I miss our conversations to be honest. We used to talk a lot.” Freddie sat down on the small kitchen table as well and took a spoon of sugar for his tea. “Yes. With you and Roger and me and John we didn’t get to talk much.” “I can’t believe it’s only been a few days with you two.” Freddie laughs. “Yeah it sure is unbelievable, darling. He’s always by my side and I kind of had feelings for him for a long time and now actually being with him…” The older man sighs happily. “It’s perfect.” Brian smiles at his friend. He was so happy to see him in love.

“Yesterday Roggie told me he went in on you two having some fun in the shower. Actually one reason he was so sad yesterday was that he thought you were pissed at him. I tried to convince him otherwise but you know… he wouldn’t believe me.” Freddie stood up and got a second cup of tea and a banana. “To be honest I was pissed at that moment. I mean I was eager for John all day long. We were almost about to get closer in that way before you came home from Roger’s appointment. We literally went down with massive boners- I am sorry if this is too much.” “No, no it’s okay. We’re grown men. I think it’s okay to talk about such things.” “Okay, so yeah basically I was horny for John since a few days and then after your romantic dinner we wanted to go to our room and finally do more than just kissing when we hear you two having fun as well. We couldn’t go to Deaky’s room because it’s freezing cold down there so we went to the shower. And just when things got interesting Roger needed to pee.” Freddie laughed and took a big bite of his banana. “John tried to hide because we didn’t want him to know we were together. So he got down and pulled the shower curtain in front of him. Rog saw his shadow and thought he was sucking my cock. But I am definitly not angry at him now. That would be a little too childish I mean he had to pee.”

Brian nodded with a grin and took a small sip of his coffee. “And did you two…get closer last night?”, he asked with raised eyebrows. “No. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I couldn’t sleep too well. We actually were about to do it last night but I backed out. I really want to do it but I am really scared. I mean it’s John, he is so precious he deserves everything. I don’t want to hurt him or make him uncomfortable.” “I see, but I wouldn’t be worried about that. He would tell you if he was uncomfortable, I am sure about that. If you get closer just go for it. It may hurt in the beginning but-“ “Wait no. Not like that. I meant just like…maybe jerking him off.” “Oh…well then I really wouldn’t be worried. I mean you know how to do that, don’t you?” 

Freddie nodded and chuckled quietly. “How was your first time getting closer to Roger?”, he asked looking a little insecure at Brian. The younger man thought for a moment. “It wasn’t that romantic. We were out that night and when we got back home he was really horny and started kissing me. At first I wanted to go to sleep but he just put his hand on my crotch and started rubbing my dick. It was really messy.” Brian laughed and threw his curly hair back with one hand. “Somehow we ended up jerking eachother off and falling asleep on the sofa.” Freddie threw away the banana peel and sat down again. “Doesn’t sound bad.” “I can’t remember everything anymore to be honest but it could’ve been worse.” “And what about your first time…fucking?” “That was way more romantic luckily. I was jerking Roger off when he told me that he wanted me to fuck him. Luckily I had lube and condoms at home because I was subconsciously hoping for this to happen. At first it was quite painful for him but he said it was ‘good’ pain so yeah. It was really good.” 

Both men smiled realizing how good they had it with their boyfriends. “Thanks for the chat, Bri. It really helped a lot, would you mind if I’d go upstairs again. I…I think I might want to surprise John when he wakes up.” Brian smirked and shook his head no. “Go ahead. And don’t worry just go for it.” Freddie nodded at Brian as confident as possibly and left the kitchen.

Before going to his room Freddie went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The sink was wet just as the towel so someone must be in the bathroom. He noticed that John’s toothbrush was wet as well and he wondered if John was already awake.

When entering his bedroom John opened his eyes. He looked sleepy but seemed to be awake for quite a while already. “Hey, Freddie.”, John cooed. “Good morning, darling. How long have you been awake?” “For about twenty minutes or something I guess.” “You could have come downstairs, dear.” “I know but I have a certain problem which prevents me from going anywhere right now.” John lifted the blanket and Freddie had look at his impressive morning wood which made his cock twitch instantly.

Without hesitation he got to John and and kissed him. “You are so hot, John.”, he whispered while shifting him on top of himself. He felt John’s boner against his own hardening cock and grabbed the bassist’s ass to pull him even closer. “Freddie…”, John chuckled not knowing what got into him. “I want you, darling.” John sighed and kissed Freddie. “Finally.”

They kissed passionately and started to grind against eachother. “You feel so fucking good.”, Freddie panted and pushed his hips up a little to intensivy the feeling of their cocks rubbing together. After a few minutes of dry humping and heavy panting Freddie pushed John up and took off his shirt. He put his hands on his chest and caressed John’s nipple who moaned Freddie’s name.

Freddie decided to take the next step when he pulled out John’s hard cock who was sitting on his lap. His boner was rather close to Freddie’s face but he absolutly adored the sight. The next two minutes consisted of Freddie jerking off John, switching between paces and desperately shifting his hips under John’s butt to get some relief himself. John was panting and threw his head back rocking his hips against Freddie’s hand. “This feels so good, Freddie.” 

But Freddie couldn’t resist in lifting John up and clumsily placing him on his back so he could pin him down. Hungrily he kissed John, his tongue slipping into his mouth battling for dominance. He put his fist around John’s aching dick again who whined at the touch. “I need you so bad John please touch me.”, he whispered and sent shivers down his spine. There was no need to ask a second time John was already finding his way into Freddie’s briefs and grabbing his cock.

It was the first time they were actually touching eachother at the same time. They were sweating and panting when John started moaning louder. “I think I want last much longer.” Freddie stopped touching him at those words and kissed his cheeks. “It’s okay. Please come for me, darling. I’ve been waiting so long for this.” Once again he closed his palm around John’s member and jerked him off with fast movements. After a few seconds John’s body started twitching and he moaned Freddie’s name loudly which made Freddie’s cock leak even more precum. John came all over his belly and seeing his boyfriend reaching his climax was probably the hottest thing Freddie has ever wittnessed.

After a few minutes John got down from his high and kissed Freddie deeply. They were laying next to eachother by now and John stroked Freddie’s aching hard dick softly who whimpered at the soft touch. He teased the older man a little more who seemed to enjoy it when he finally jerked him off properly. It took Freddie a few minutes until he started to feel his orgasm building up. His cock twitched a few times. “Are you going to come?”, John asked with a sexy voice.  
Freddie nodded and closed his eyes trying to relax. “Fuck…John.”, he moaned as his body was tensing up and relaxing again. His load landed on his belly as well and breathless he fell into John’s kiss.

“This was so good, Freddie.”, John whispered after a moment of silence while kissing his boyfriend’s forehead. Freddie just nodded and pulled John closer. “Let’s sleep.”, Freddie whispered happily. John chuckled because Freddie seemed kind of high from his orgasm. “Okay.”, he said patting his boyfriends back. “You can sleep but I’ll go and get something to clean the mess we made, okay?” “Mhh.” John took it as a yes and got a wet towel from the bathroom. When he got back Freddie was already asleep.

After a few restless nights, Freddie slept the most peaceful sleep he had in a while. John got back to bed after cleaning up and slept next to him. They enjoyed being this close to eachother and around 9 am they were woken up by a knock on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is shorter but finally it happened :))


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay wow so here's the last chapter and don't worry about the open ending!! there will be a second part centering the band's success with the album :)  
> also Mary is mentioned in this chapter but it's only fiction so yeah in this world Freddie and her are just friends!  
> aaand there is a smut warning if you don't want to read it just skip the part marked with *
> 
> enjoy!!

The person knocking on the door didn’t wait for an answer and came in. It was Brian. “I really don’t want to disturb you but you have to wake up.” John blinked a few times and sat up. “What’s wrong? Is Roger alright?”, he asked. Brian nodded. “Yeah he is fine but we have a different problem.” Now Freddie sat up as well. “What is it?”

“We got a call from Ray Foster’s assistant and they said that we had to deliver him our album until Friday.” “Wait what? No that’s not fair it’s already Wednesday and we have to go back to London- we agreed on the end of november.” “I know this man is a bastard.” “What happens if we won’t finish in time?”, Freddie asked. “Well, then we’ll have to pay our stay with our own money.” “Are they kidding us? We aren’t exactly poor anymore but this is fucking Rockfield Studios. We can’t afford that.” “Exactly so better get dressed and let’s work.”

Brian leaves the room and Freddie and John jump up to get dressed. On their way down Brian and Roger were already jamming. “I swear to you this man doesn’t deserve our album.”, Freddie declared before starting to work.

They worked until late at night but at least they actually did it. “I am so proud of us.”, Brian said happily which lead to a group hug. “I love you guys.”, John added. Sadly they had to pack their instruments – or at least John his bass guitar and Brian the holy red special. After going upstairs Freddie poured some champaign into glasses for the four of them. “We did it!”, he shouted excited. Roger took a sip and then cleared his throat. “I actually have to tell you something…uhm obviously the doctor I was seeing is not the same I’ll see in the future because you know. I can’t drive out of London everytime. He sent my dates to another doctor’s office and when we’ll get back I’ll be put on medication and start my therapy.” He looked down being a little ashamed or afraid, but the others cheered. “I am so proud of you, Roggie!”, said John and hugged him tightly.

The four had a great evening until it was time for them to pack their suitcases. They would drive back to London tomorrow after lunch. John got his clothes from the basement and heaved his suitcase to the ground floor. He decided to leave it there for the first. The last things he had to pack were either in Freddie’s room – just a few pieces of clothing – or in the bathroom but he would still need those things so he was quasi finished. Freddie wasn’t quite finished when John entered his room.

“Uhm…do you need any help?”, he asked with a confused expression on his face. In front of him was Freddie sitting on his luggage. “I’m just trying to close it but there’s too much in it.” “You know it would help to fold your clothes, right?” Freddie grunted. “You know what would help as well? If you would shift your cute arse over here and sit on my lap to have more weight pushing down on this thing.”

John knew that this wouldn’t help in anyway but he wouldn’t say no to an invitation to sit on Freddie’s beautiful lap. So he sat down facing Freddie and kissing him. “By the way…yesterday was perfect.” Freddie placed a kiss on John’s neck and inhaled his scent. “It truly was, darling. I’m sorry that I fell asleep so fast.” “It’s okay, it was quite cute.” “Yesterday was really overwhelming, wasn’t it?” John nodded and hugged Freddie.

Suddenly there was a loud noise as if something was breaking and John lost his balance and harshly landed on his back. “Fuck, John, are you okay?” But John was only laughing. “What was that?” Freddie was happy to see his boyfriend uninjured and helped him up. “I guess we just broke my suitcase.”, Freddie said and bowed down to pick up a piece of plastic that was supposed to keep the suitcase closed. They both laughed and decided it would be the best to give some things into John’s suitcase for a start.

When they went down they noticed Brian and Roger sitting on the sofa in the living room. “It’s okay I will always be by your side. And if you need something you can always call Deacy and Freddie.” “But I don’t want to bother them.” Roger was crying. “You aren’t bothering them, Roggie. They are happy to help you. Also you will hardly be alone, okay?” Roger sniffed and nodded.

Freddie and John looked at eachother and decided to go to their friends. “Hey, what’s wrong?”, John asked caring. When Roger noticed the other two entering the room he hid his face in Brian’s chest who started to explain. “Roger is scared to go back. Being here with us gave him security and now being alone again especially with that wanker Foster moving the release date forward, he’s anxious.” Freddie sat down next to Brian and John sat down on the table in front of them. “Don’t be scared, Roggie.”, cooed Freddie. “We’ll still be there for you.” “Freddie is right, you can call us at anytime and we love to be with you. We are really sad to go back home because we won’t spend that much time together anymore.” Roger showed his face now. His eyes were swollen red, just like on the day of the cupboard. “Really?”, he said quietly. “Of course, darling!”

Now Roger started to smile a little. “Thanks.”, he managed to say a little louder this time. “You don’t have to thank us.” “Do you want to watch a movie or play a game? I mean as it’s our last evening here.”, John asks Roger but actually addressing all of them. “What about celebrating our album? Getting drunk and playing some stupid drinking game?”, Freddie suggested. “Of course it’s you who suggests something naughty.”, Brian growls but with a smirk in his face. “Oh I know how much you secretly love naughty things, darling.” “I think it’s actually a good idea, Roger?” “Yeah me too.” “Great!” Freddie quickly got the champaigne bottle and all of them settled down on the large sofa.

 

*

 

“Let’s play Truth or Dare. I know it’s not really a drinking game but I think it’s the most fun because you have so many options.”, Roger smirked into Freddie’s direction who smiled back mischievously. “Good idea and I suggest as it was your idea you start?” “Okay…let me just think.”

“John. Since when do you know that you like men?” John thought for a few seconds before he started talking. “Well, I am not even sure now if I only like men or both men and women. But I think I started questioning my sexualitly when I saw you and Brian together because it kind of interested me. And I think the realization that I really do like men was when Freddie confessed his feelings for me.” “Okay, you can take a sip.” John took the bottle and after drinking he realized that it was his turn to pick someone.

“Okay…so Brian…in our last drinking game you said you once used a sex toy…tell us about that.” “I wanted to ask that!”, Freddie complained jokingly but then listened to Brian. “Ugh…I was 18 at that time and questioning my sexuality. No, actually not questioning it I already knew that I was bisexual. I was questioning what it felt like to have sex with a man so I got into that sex shop and bought a dildo.” “Oh god…why didn’t you just use your finger?”, Freddie asked in disbelieve. “Well when I got home I started with my finger and then wanted to use my toy but naïve as I was I didn’t have any lube so I just used it to practise blowjobs and kind of arousing myself with it.” “I never would’ve thought something like that of you, Bri.”, John chuckled. “I am truly shocked and impressed at the same time.”, Freddie added. John handed the bottle over to Brian. "The practizing truly shows today.", Roger chuckled before it was Brian's turn.

“Freddie. Tell us…especially John…about a fetish you have.” “A fetish?” “Yes…come on, everyone of us has at least one kink.” “Let’s see…which one is the least disgusting one to tell.”, Freddie joked. John blushed slightly because he really wanted to know what kinks his boyfriend had. “I don’t know if this really is a kink because I’ve never tried it, but I get very aroused at the idea of swallowing your load.”, he said now directly addressed at John which made the man blush even more. “Oh..”, was everything John could say at that moment together with a quiet giggling.

“I am a fan of that, too.”, Roger says laughing in an attempt to relax the atmosphere. It actually worked and John told Freddie that he wouldn’t have a problem with trying that at some point. "I deserve this!", Freddie said as he took the bootle and took a big sip out of it. “Roger…I want you to show us your three favourite positions with Brian and why you love them.” Roger rolled his eyes but chuckled in the next moment. “You are a horny bastard, Fred.” “I know.” “You two have to get up if you want us to show you some good sex positions.”, Roger snickered and made a gesture of scaring them away.

John and Freddie stood in front of the sofa and Freddie layed one arm around John as Roger was getting down on the sofa. They were pretty tipsy at the moment so the modesty was quite low by now. Roger got on his knees and hands and Brian kneed behind him holding his hips. “I love this position because Brian can fuck me hard like that and easily reaches my sweet spot. Also when I’m close he easily can reach for my dick as well.”

Freddie got closer to John. “Would you like me to take you like that?”, he asked with a very low voice. John knew that Freddie wouldn’t actually say that if he wasn’t drunk but it kind of aroused him and he felt a tingling in his cock. “The next position is like that. Me riding Brian, so I can have control and also it’s hot to be able to kiss him and to come on him.”

Now they got up and Roger placed his hands on the wall Brian again behind him. “This is quite the same thing as the first position but it’s more intense. So are you satisfied, Fred?”, Roger asked ironically. “Yes and you?”, he answered grinning. Roger took several sips for that and Brian took a few as well.

They continued playing for an hour or so – they were really drunk by then but still conscious enough to think straight. It was Brian’s turn to pick someone. “John...I want you to make out with Freddie.”, he muttered. John who was getting very horny by this game was actually happy to hear his quest. He sat on Freddie’s lap just like in there room before and started kissing him hungrily. “You’re so hot.”, he panted in between kisses and then it happened.

 

*

 

Freddie stopped kissing John and looked up at him. He was just about to push him off as he mumbled “Actually…I don’t…feel…too good…” and threw up all over John’s shirt and pants. John jumped and almost threw up himself because of disgust but he could hold it back due to his worries about Freddie who puked once again. Roger got up and got a glass of water while Brian was making sure that Freddie was concious.

“Freddie!”, John shouted and cupped his boyfriends cheeks. “Sorry.”, Freddie whispered. “It’s okay. What’s wrong?” “Nothing. Drank too much.” “Oh baby….” “Can you get up and go to the bathroom?”, Brian asked and reached out a hand for Freddie. The singer got to his feet and Brian and John secured him. Slowly they went upstairs followed by Roger. Freddie kneeled next to the toilet with Brian patting his back and Roger letting him sip on the water every few seconds.

John got under the shower meanwhile and as they were drunk he didn’t care about the fact that he was naked in front of the others. After an hour or so Roger and Brian went to sleep but Brian would check after Freddie and John every hour. John stayed with his boyfriend who would probably spend his night on the toilet.

“Sorry.”, he mumbled again. “You don’t have to apologize.”, John whispered while stroking his cheek. “I ruined the evening.” “No you didn’t.” Freddie would have argued in every other situation but instead he just closed his eyes and fell in a deep drunken sleep with John by his side who didn’t sleep very much this night but that didn’t matter because it was almost morning by then.

Around 7 am John heard Freddie throwing up again and got up quickly. He held his boyfriend’s hair back and after a while Freddie got up. “Good morning.”, he said and even though he looked miserable he laughed at the situation. “Good morning.”, John said. “How are you?” “Could be better, but quite okay.” John wanted to kiss Freddie but instead decided to hug him. Freddie went to the sink and washed his face then he grabbed his toothbrush. “Should I make some breakfst in the meanwhile?”, John asked solicitously. “A gallon of water would be great.”, Freddie joked.

When John went downstairs he noticed that someone must have cleaned up Freddie’s mess. He went to the kitchen and filled a glass of water and one with orange juice for Freddie. Then he took some cookies because he was extremly hungry. After a while Freddie came down as well and gave John a quick kiss and chugged both glasses.

“God I was so shitfaced. What happened?” “We played Truth or Dare, everyone was really drunken we got dared to make out and then you puked on me.” “I am so sorry, darling.” Freddie really was sorry because he had an embarrassed expression and looked at John with begging eyes. “Will you forgive me?” John chuckled. “Of course don’t be so dramatic.”

They exchanged a sloppy kiss when John asked if Freddie wanted to lie down a bit. He nodded in response and hugged his boyfriend lovingly. The two men walked into the living room and got down on the sofa. Freddie sighed. “I feel so sick I will never drink again.” John chuckled. “I don’t believe you.” Softly he planted a kiss on Freddie’s forehead. “Do you want to have some cookies?” “God no, I think I will throw up again.” John put an arm around Freddie and pulled him closer while stroking through his hair. “It’s gonna be okay soon. You just need more sleep.” “I am sorry for ruining our last day.” “Oh, Freddie, you didn’t ruin anything. I mean it’s 7.30 in the morning, in a few hours we are already on our way back to London.” Freddie snuggled closer to John. “Do you want to stay at my place tonight?” “I would love to.” Freddie closed his eyes and fell asleep in John’s arms who munched on his cookies in the meantime.

\----

It was about 11 am when John woke up Freddie. The older man blinked a few times and sat up. “Did you stay with me all the time?”, he asked surprised. “Yeah, I didn’t want to wake you up at first but it’s already 11 am and we still need to finish packing. Do you feel better now?” Freddie stretched himself and kissed John on his cheek. “I feel quite okay, darling. Thanks for staying with me.” They hugged a few seconds before Roger and Brian entered the room.

Roger groaned and sat down next to John and Freddie. “My head hurts so bad it’s ridiculous.” “I think we all have that problem, darling. Sorry for yesterday.” “It’s okay.”, Brian said. “We were all really shitfaced.” Brian sat down next to Roger and put an arm around him. “When are we gonna be picked up?”, John asked looking at Brian. “Uh I think they said around 12 pm so we should get ready soon. Also I don’t know about you but I am not very hungry.” The others agreed and John and Freddie decided to go upstairs.

As they entered the room Freddie let out a deep sigh when he saw his ruined suitcase which they still had to fix. John noticed the older man’s exhaustion and put a hand on his hip and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Are you okay?”, he asked worried and Freddie nodded. John kissed him again but this time on his lips but the kiss didn’t last very long.

“Oh god!”, John said surprised. “You are burning!” “No…really…I am fine.” “No you aren’t, Freddie. Your eyes are glassy as well you’re having a fever.” Freddie looked down and exhaled. “I am fine…it’s not that bad.” “I think it is bad, Freddie and I don’t care if you want to pretend that it doesn’t matter. That explains why you threw up yesterday. I mean we were all drunken and you probably endure more alcohol than we do.” “Maybe but the album gets released tomorrow and I can’t be sick now.” “And that’s exactly why you are going to lay down right now and let me do the packing.” “John-“ “No I don’t want to hear it. It’s okay I don’t mind doing that, okay? Please, Freddie.” John looked at Freddie with those damn puppy eyes and almost pushed Freddie on the the bed. The younger man put the blanket over Freddie’s body and kissed him before he went to the suitcase. “Thanks.”, Freddie said quietly before closing his eyes. “You’re welcome.”, John answered smiling at his beautiful boyfriend.

He took a staple of Freddie’s clothes out of the broken valise and took it downstairs where he opened his own suitcase to fill it with Freddie’s stuff. After that he went to the kitchen to find something he could use to repair the singers suitcase. Brian was sitting at the small kitchen table with some lecture about astronomy, not minding John at all. In one of the drawers he found some tape which he used to close the suitcase.

The next thing he did was grabbing the toothbrushes and shower gel bottles to give them into his suitcase as well. When he finished he heard a car pull up in front of the house. The driver honked to let them know that he was there and it was at that moment that Roger came from the living room clearly sad. “I’ll miss this place.”, he sighed. “Or at least I’ll miss being with you all the time.” John placed a hand on Roger’s shoulder. “Me too.”

Roger and Brian who entered the hall a few seconds later carried the luggage to the car while John was getting Freddie. “Hey sleepy.”, he said softly. “The driver is here.” Freddie opened his eyes heavily and got up. “Do you feel better?” “Actually worse, but it’s fine.” John hugged his boyfriend who grabbed a jacket which was still hanging on a chair. He carried down the suitcase following Freddie.

When they had their baggage in the car they got their instruments. Finally, everything was stowed and the driver asked if they were ready to go. Brian was sitting on the passenger seat having small talk with the chauffeur. Roger sat behind him and had his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping but he was still trying to get rid of his hangover.

John sat in the middle of the backseat and carefully listened to the conversation while Freddie was sitting next to him, very sickly and actually sleeping. The drive wasn’t that long in reality but it felt like an eternity. In three hours they passed about hundreds of trees and other cars until they finally reached Freddie’s appartment.

When John wanted to leave the car the driver had a confused looked at him. “I’ll stay with Freddie this night because he’s probably getting a flu and uhm his suitcase broke and now there is stuff from him in mine and we are way to exhausted to take care of that right now…so yeah uhm we’ll both just stay here.” “Okay, Mr. Deacon, should I help you with the luggage?” “No, it’s fine. Thank you.”

John got both suitcases and his base guitar out of the car and said goodbye to the others. Freddie just winked at them because he was already at the door waiting for John, he looked miserable. John got the base guitar on his back and lifted the two suitcases. Freddie immediately went to him. “I’ll help you with that.”, he insisted but John didn’t want him to. “Please just open the door for me, okay? Really I don’t want you to strain and they aren’t that heavy.” Freddie sighed because he knew that he had no chance, so he just opened the door and let John step inside.

They had to go to the 2nd floor and it took Freddie a minute to unlock the door because it was a quite old building and the lock was somehow roasting. When there was finally a click and the door opened they stepped inside. John placed all the stuff on the floor and closed the door behind him. When he turned back he saw Freddie kneeling on the floor – 3 cats around him purring. “Did Mary take good care of you?”, he asked in a high pitched voice which John thought was adorable. He sat down next to Freddie and stuck out his hand to let the cats smell him. “They are so cute.”, he said and patted a white-black-red cat. “Those are Tom, Jerry and Lily.”, he explained placing Lily on his lap and hugging her tightly. “I hope I’ll get the same attention.”, John said jokingly. “Oh darling.”, Freddie wheezed.

After a few minutes the men got up and John kissed Freddie deeply. “I am so happy to be with you.” Freddie answered with a hug. “Me too, but maybe you shouldn’t kiss me so much. I don’t want you to get sick as well.” “Nothing will stop me from kissing you.” They smiled happily at eachother and kissed again.

“You should lay down, I’ll make some tea.” “Thank you so much.”, Freddie whispered and kissed John. He laid down and soon after that Jerry jumped onto the sofa as well and settled down at Freddie’s feet. John brought two cups of tea to the couch table and stroked Freddie’s cheek. “I’ll unpack tomorrow, okay? I am really exhausted.” “Of course, darling.” “Can I use your phone, I need to call Bri to ask him when we’ll go to EMI tomorrow.” “Yes and you don’t have to ask me for that in the future.” “Okay.”, John laughed and hugged Freddie once again. He couldn’t stand seeing his boyfriend sick.

John went to the kitchen and took the phone. On a small piece of paper where a few numbers scribbled down such as Brian’s. “Hello, Brian speaking.”, he heard after a while. “It’s John, hello.” “Oh hey, John. How are you? Is Freddie alright?” “Yeah I guess so. I mean he is quite sick but you know it’s Freddie. He’s tough.” “Yes he is, will he come with us tomorrow.” “I’m pretty sure he will. Actually that’s why I was calling. When do we need to go to EMI studios tomorrow?” “Uhm…wait a second. Uh here it is. Yeah right we need to be there at 11am.” “Okay thanks, Bri.” “No problem. See you tomorrow.” “Bye.”

When John went back to the living room Freddie was almost sleeping. “Come to me, please.”, he murmured. Without hesitation the younger man did as said and snuggled onto his boyfriend. “We need to get up early tomorrow or at least me – I really need to take a shower before we go.” “When do we have to be there?” “11 am.” “I’ll join you with that shower.”, Freddie said snickering and pulled John closer. Soon both of them drifted away into a peaceful sleep just happy to have eachother.

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments to let me know if you enjoyed it! :)


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